The ones that wait

"Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. They do not forgive and never forget. The one and only."

Okay... I had to agree... but partly. I'm a very mean person, not pointing to all Virgo-ians but me myself. Very dominant people in everything and always put myself at the very first place. Very ego people, always thought that I know-it-all although sometimes I really do but I'm never too smart in anything. Trying to be the top of everyone, conquer the whole meeting and even power. Damn! I'm bad, only after I realized I'm too much a caterpillar, trying very hard to crawl by squeezing the body, wobbling and creeping everywhere, very much irritating. Imagine someone keep nagging beside your ears, eww. Now, I would likely prefer to stay silent and giving chance to other to voice out what they want to. Although it sounds a little emotional or depression but I guess I'm pretty fine with it. You can always shoot me down if you want to, very much appreciate to people who commented on me so that I can be someone better than who I am now and to those who give me encouragement and support me on what I'm working out. Encouragement is always needed for everyone, although they might look pretty cool by themselves but believe me, it will make one's people day no matter who they are. Please wait till I unfold my wings and fly beautifully in the sky. I'm going to pour out all my love to every corner, reaching out as much as I can, spending some quality time visiting as much country as I could possibly afford. And this time, I'll put some effort on myself to be the one I visualize not just daydreaming, I think I can. Reading lots of article recently, experience a lot, too much to write in one shot. Will see how it goes by time :)

What if I say, I love you more than you do

4.0

They said, money hurt friendship.

Not all, but partly.

Numbers do matter!

Like what today title says, it's what student really care about in school. It's something we called pointer. We called 4.0, four flat; 3.75 and above, first class; 3.5 and above, dean list; 3.0, second class; and below 3.0, bad. That's what really matter in Malaysia education system. Those number speaks like big boss!

I'm going to talk about how those numbers change my life. It's like meh, like that also can arh. I wasn't a smart student, beside getting average result, I somehow will get bad result too. My pointer is like sitting on a roller coaster, sometimes its goes high up and sometimes its goes really low all the way down. We know that I'm not good in memorizing but mathematics question sometimes doesn't end up what I'm aiming for as well :( I guess, all I need is to just study, read and revise.

4.0 got so easy to score meh. I can say that it's really far upon my reach, something I don't even dare to think neither dream of. But, recently as in yesterday heard 3 people getting 4.0 in their last semester, I was like WHAT?! How easy can that be. 

Guess, I need to constantly put pressure on myself and start studying for a better future. *sounds old*

Signing off to study.

Be beautiful

To express how I feel these few days, I'll say I wasn't being happy....

Trying to smile really hard cause I somehow lost my mask and I couldn't bare to hide on another piece of paper anymore.

Trying hard to stuck myself into books but yet the mood wasn't there and once laptop is switched, my eyes just couldn't leave the screen even for a second.

Trying to make things in order so that mistakes won't be repeated this time but end up being said I was too stress and over perfectionist.

Trying to not waste time and cherish every hour where I can still breath but turn out waiting and waiting for time to pass by is what I'm doing.

Trying to wake up and go jogging in the morning since school reopen but end up lying in the bed feeling comfortable by myself.

Trying hard to be the person people want me to be but end up there's too many opinion from different people and I'm going crazy soon.

Although I failed every time I tried, but to try again is the choice I choose cause I believe that one day I might just succeed and be proud of myself. I always love myself a lot although having four cuts in three days, clumsiness just doesn't want to let me go, what to do. But, watch out! I'm going to surprise you the next time you meet me cause I grow and turn extraordinary every day.

Let's see what's beautiful today. Bookmark this article long time ago and eventually forget its existence till I look back my bookmark today. Almost every single little things make me smile, should have try it out one by one :)