再见了30岁

 又过了两年才游回这空间，还是喜欢把东西写起来。小时候，那个世界的网路很贵，文字写在纸上，搬家时还硬要带上，过后的现在却不知道它在哪里生着灰尘。

再次读回我上两篇文，我怎么还是又回到了这个迷茫的圈圈。事业还不错，人缘也ok，但就是有那说不上的闷感？是不是觉得我很烦，不知足？拜托，我超知足的，只是没有想找事做，有点懒但又不甘示弱。

说我没变，又不是。以前爱看youtube的我，竟然现在就不喜欢了，还花时间玩牌？戏剧都看那种现实的多余爱情年少粉红泡泡；综艺节目还看起了职场生活；好像看着这些就不是浪费时间而是增广见闻。

还有，最近发现我真的很I，竟然会social累。还不是近期在外谈笑风声后，回到自己角落竟然舒服的要歇一整天才觉得体力恢复，有可能也因为自己也老了。想当年还是个每个活动都想参一脚的活力少年，每年还硬要出个国才爽的人。现在我的护照竟然还过期没更新。有时在想，是不是这个covid把我给弄坏了。

"我只是一个不愿照着世俗流程走的平凡人，不甘于平凡的平凡人"

今天读到了这一句，竟然很和我胃口。但我想，我好像就一直是这样潇洒生活着的，以至我现在过着点世俗的生活，我不喜欢。再多两个月就生日的我，默默的想要搞下自己，跳离舒适圈，我期待着。

再次声明，我就爱说我自己懒，但并非真的原地踏步。去年报的空中瑜伽课程，一直是班倒数的我终于今年突飞猛进了。虽然母指还动不了脚指头，更劈不了叉，但飞得起，我骄傲!

还有几个to-do-list等待着被打钩钩，虽然一等有可能是好几年的事。但如果几年过去了，而它还在，就代表maybe还是个不错的东东，而我眼光不错，只是行动缺缺。自己不想，强迫着未必是件好事。我愿意听建议，反正我还迷茫，又还有quota耗。

Changes

 It's another year since my last post. Time flies. Many things had changed, some may not. 

Been watching a lot of movies and dramas recently just to kill time in this MCO period, now called FMCO. I had not been into reading books moreover meditating for quite a long time, which some says these activities somehow comfort your inner peace as people easily got short temper when they are stuck at home. I have been procrastinating a lot lately too. Nothing seems to catch my attention including baking. I somehow succeeded in my career but failing in all other aspects. Aside from the negativity, I did improve a bit la, in terms of home exercising and facial as in cleaning my face every day (I use to wash my fash once a week or lesser).

I have friends that switch jobs which surprise me and somehow amaze me. I'm glad for their changes and courage to leap on another journey. They said as a youth, you must continue striking for betterment while you still have the energy, you cannot stay too long in your comfort zone. I'm sure you hear this everywhere. I wanted a change to, in any form in good terms, but I have no idea even to the smallest thing such as what I like. They say you can still start striking off what you don't like and I had been doing this for the longest time and the list still goes on. I envy those that are clear on their direction and interest in a positive way. 

All in all, I'm not a negative person, not spreading negativity too, you can still find encouragement from above (I hope). I'm just ranting as someone who's reaching the age of 30 but still taking baby steps finding her way, not losing direction too I suppose. 

By the way, my post is getting so so boring. I make sure I come back with something interesting and maybe photos on the next post. Haven't taken a photo of myself for a very long while but definitely looks different and older from the header young me. P/s: I'm getting my Covid vaccine next month, I'm excited and nervous at the same time, it's going to be interesting.

Hi

It's been a while since I last log in here. Technology races so fast we hardly can catch up on the trends. Probably it's just me. 

Log in to see one incomplete post drafted back in Year 2018 on Hanoi trip. I went back to Vietnam early this year again to Nha Trang before the lockdown. Been going back to Vietnam every 2 years as it's very economical for me and I love the food, they have this vegetable smell in most of their food which you probably couldn't find it elsewhere. And the coffee is good! It tasted different from any Kopitiam or cafe.

Year 2020 wasn't a good year, coronavirus affects almost everyone in the world. Is poisonous and attacks everyone regardless of who you are. Everyone is beaten back to square one, where sitting on an airplane and traveling were luxurious. You appreciate even it's traveling locally. 

I appreciate my job where I'm classified in the essential sector, got to work, and received a full salary. It's dangerous out there, but you can't hide for a lifetime, just make sure you follow all the rules lay down and be mindful of cleanliness.

Also, I finally had time for reflection. I don't feel that I'm stepping on the right path but correct at the same time. I understand there's no turning back in life, and if so I get to go back, I probably will be going through the same path as I am now. It's confusing, but I guess I'll sort it out someday later before this year ends, I hope.

That's it for now. Hope everyone is still standing strong on their feet. You know you can beat it if your will power is strong. Try walking at a different angle if walking straight doesn't feel right, just make sure you don't bang your head. Every step you make offers a different result, you will never know the outcome until you experience it. There's not much absolute right and wrong in life though. Cheers :)