Troubled individual

... said by Byzantium. Trouble whereby having unique abilities. And by the graph plotted, Im more than the range of standard deviation of 3 which is the 0.3%. Am I that different or should I say weird.

Having a strong and at times destructive independent streak is a good thing or a bad thing ? Being strong is an act of independent but sometimes it makes you collapse as in you can't bare it no more. But what to do, this is life where you need to face these obstacles and challenges so that you can grow up to a tougher ones.

Like Byzantium said, routine task really doesn't suits me. Its kind of impossible for me to complete it. I need something that comes alive. That's make me keep changing my plan like no body business. Planned to wake up early today, visit the library and have breakfast with my friend, but yeah, I screw it. That sudden thought of me make me study in my own room and my friend goes like cheh.

At that moment where Im under substantial stress and anxiety. I do nothing.

 Not fully control of life ? Err.. is it ? Perhaps ? I don't know.

Unsatisfactory in relationship and are presently contemplating the possibility of escape. Hmphh.. Can I ? I have this very weird feeling in me where I don't really feel comfortable with it. I am surrounded by people who love me and I should be blessed to have this bunch of people who will always stay beside me and accompany through the ups and downs. I love you guys, no complain.

When in control, capable to make difficult decision. I always list out all the possibilities and ways so that I can choose my priority and see if any one of it wins. Setting a priority is never that hard as you will know what you want the most and what doesn't really matter you a lot. Anyhow, family always come first. The second and third doesn't play a role anymore when the first one struck. Feeling isolated and alone is kind of cool in a way where I did enjoy myself for giving a me time and act out a real me. I'm in charge of my own life and I will definitely make it a great ones.

When you look perfect in the outside who cares what's inside. Everyone will have this darker emotions inside - those underlying urges that all humans have. Get the ability to harness that energy to achieve the goals. Focus the energy both positive and negative. You reap, you gain. This is what I always believe in.

So, in conclusion. I'm unique :)

Live for your own

... That is. Don't live your life for others. Always put you as the first priorities.

Was pondering and wondering about my life these day. It wasn't that awesome though. Assignments, Tutorials, Quizzes, and Tests its burying me down to the ground. I wasn't in that mood. There's always this obstacles coming upon. My mind wasn't that calm. Can't really concentrate and yeah Im going to attend that meditation class this coming Monday organised by the Buddhist Society here. The food test last week was easy, as in everything is ask straight forward, if you read you will probably get a full mark for that paper, but I just don't know why, the thing wasn't there and I just couldn't answer.

Once in awhile, I just need to go out, breath in some fresh air, being crazy for once and let off all my tension and disturbing thoughts. It was awesome hanging out with coursemate. We went to the jelutong night market where 14 of us riding on the same bus and taking about 25 mins journey to reach there. They are easy to mix with. We laugh the whole night. We don't have this interaction problems. No worries, Im not falling to anyone of them as most of them are taken =X They are cute, adorable and crazy at times. Present the USM food tech's THEM =)

"No worries, Im still the optimism me, I just miss you, I miss home. I'll live a better life, being an independent and a strong ones, a man perhaps *jokes* I promise you that."

Its the 5th week already

Being busy as in very very busy this month. There's lots of activities taking part and going on. Its even occupy my Saturday and Sunday. No time for rest and yet stack of assignment, quizes and test coming and approaching me. What a hectic life I had now. I just missed out the buddhist society introduction night as my test is the next day. Being well prepared somehow build up my confidence. But nothing comes out from what I read *eww*. Received my first assignment back and guess what, I got an F. Super duper smart of me for using a pencil instead of a pen to do that particular assignment. And that particular tutor was super particular with all the units and what so ever graph. So, the highest mark in our class is a C. *double eww* But with this super particular way of teaching somehow make me understand more on this crazy like question which make me spend an hour for one. Im going very fast the very next time. Dragging so long, too long on a question is kind of wasting time *sad* I got no more time to waste as there's another talk this Sunday as in whole day which is compulsory for all TI students to attend. No more outing like serious, I got no time for it. No one is asking me out already by the way, as they know I will be using the same excuse. Sleeping late this few days as in before 12am, but its late for me for not sleeping at 10pm. He sleep like a pig in the evening and being awake like an owl during midnight. I hate him no.

Hello October

Im still going to post the September stuff although we are now stepping into October. Already been one month I experience uni life. Things are smooth at first but its getting tougher and steeper day by day. The teaching somehow kinda alien to me. Learning hard to be independent. Being strong is never that easy. Im already stuck in the first day of October. My ptptn loan is being cancelled as I filled in the wrong details. Yeah, still careless and clumsy like usual. I got stuck on my studies too. Play too much I guess. Activities just goes on and on. And worst still, I don't plan a timetable. Studying on my wish seems not working here. Trying hard to not being attract but failed most of the time. Cycling in university is nice. Im so going to plan a timetable for a healthy and balance lifestyle.

Happy Birthday to Yee May and Shu Ting. My new friends from hostel. Their birthday falls one after another. So its make our job easier to celebrate both birthdays together. Here is their cake :) Its her favourite burger from Tekun and two rocky represent the age of 20. Credit to me for those idea, don't it looks wonderful.

Happy Mid-autumn Festival. The above ones is the STK gang while the bottom ones is the hostel mate. Celebrating 3 times a row causing me no study time, dragging those assignment and tutorial to the very last minute. Oh no ! No more leisure time, next week is your quiz already which marks are counted. Wake up Jing.