I don't need coffee

It's 4.15 am now. I'm not sure if I'm awake or having insomnia. My eye open wide and I walk away from my bed towards the study table. Your words are powerful, it does means something to me not like I don't care. Are you my caffeine?

Signing off at 5am

So I was just looking back

Time for a little reflection on myself. It's already mid of November, couldn't believe that 2013 is going to end soon after a month. Being very emotional these few days or should I said the past few months. I got mad pretty easy and frequent, the number just keep on increasing and not stopping. Hey, what's wrong with me, you are now a grown up lady, physically grown as well as mentally. STFU, this is life, bare with it and you will walk through it easily. Stop frowning, you are lucky enough to live a not-bad life. Stop comparing and stop bothering about others, you have your own life.

An article - He ain't heavy, he's my friend  from star online I recently read. There's still love in the world. "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others" - Mahatma Gandhi, 1869

Talk about my resolution on 2013, yeah I look back on what I had wrote so that I achieve something not just for the sake of writing. Re-listing the things that need to be undone before 2014.

Still communication skill is on my list. English is what I'm facing problem with. Can't really speak fluent English, my tongue somehow twisted when it comes to pronunciation. And I don't want to always be the shit in a conversation as in talking nonsense or non related chat and ends up people conversation, I don't really know how to express what I'm thinking and yeah awkward environment where people stare at you and you looking down on the ground feeling sorry for interrupting the whole fun moment they had. And to make it not awkward you smile a little or burst out laughing on something not funny *sadden*

Exercising? Been giving myself lots of excuse. I need to really schedule out time for gym, tummy floating out. Is not like a thin people won't grow fat, the food digest and merge into their tummy which doesn't really stand out when they are wearing loose tee but deep inside they know they are ugly and fat like others just that they don't look like physically.

Smile :) Somehow I turn bad in a way not bringing happiness to people surrounds me but influencing them with all the negative thoughts. Ouch! It's not suppose to be in this way. Smile people, smile. Sorry for being very emotional these semester, I myself not sure the reason behinds the anger, it just burst out no where every time. I now learn to control, self reflection is always needed for people like me who always chase for perfection. Being very mean since the day I know myself. Always blurted something out unintentionally hurting others feeling. That wasn't what in my mind actually but my mouth just couldn't stop teasing people. Oh dear, sorry for being mean all the time. I couldn't really ask people to bare with me no more, I'll change, changing to a better ones. *In progress, please wait*

Exam! Something Ouch! Got the worst result in my life for semester two, of course the worst in the class. What to do, let the bygones be bygones and work harder for the next semester which is now. To be honest, I'm now not studying as in NOT studying. Is not like people who study and says they haven't. Lacking of motivation. Still unsure on my goal. Yes, I know, my goal is to be in the dean list but why? Something to figure out as I pursue my study. Target set: to read at least one chapter of any subject before heading to bed everyday. Will be listing down the topic and subject on a piece of paper and wishing to cross out all before exam week starts. I really need to be discipline in order to achieve what I want. There's still hope, stand back up and move on :)

Cheers to the way of success! :)

How I spent my holiday

Spending my semester break in Penang for this semester, I have no time to go back. Pack schedule I had since a week before holiday until now. And yeah, today is finally Friday, although there's still meeting and general training later but this is the free-er day I had. Haha! Two more activities to go apart from LLDS that happened last week which is the first three days of semester break and also MNC at the last three days before semester break ends. So, below is how I spend my extra three more days of semester break.

First day:

Yeah! We woke up late trying to sleep as much as we can. Been sleeping late for that few days, being an OC wasn't an easy task like how we actually look like. We are like a duck, we look pretty calm swimming in the pond but who knows we flap our legs so hard. Lunch for the famous curry mee and chicken @ Hot Bowl Nyonya Delight! 

Just right after lunch, we went for another round of food. Early tea time at 2pm for desert @ Sugar Dynasty Food Delight. The tong shui there is cheap and nice *slurrp* I would like to visit there again and try out something different.

Dinner time @ Daorae that night. The most expensive dinner I had. Awesome dinner with awesome people. Feeling too full after dinner so we decided to have a walk @ Straits Quay. Question a little; answer a little; and chat a little. I love to stare blankly at the sea, upon the star, walk beside the beach doing nothing and having people beside me so that I don't feel alone.

Second day:

Don't really take photo on that day. After spending a lot of money on the first day, we decided to save up some money. Having our lunch at the cheapest cafe in school which is called the IK cafe. And kuay teow soup for dinner nearby our school. After that head for a bowl of ABC and cendol. We ended up something crazy as the day goes too boring, so yes we head up to Queensbay to buy ourselves a midnight movie ticket. The Ender's Game! The movie we all opt to go and it turns out well. Supper at 2am as our stomach starts growling as we watched movie. Kayu till around 4am and finally the bed.

Third day:

Wake up super late again. What I had for lunch, Wan Tan Mee @ Plus Two restaurant nearby school. Shop a little at Gurney for YH's formal t-shirt. Dinner @ Harvest In, the place I wanted to go for long already. They have good western food with reasonable cheap price. So, this some sort of ends my three days holiday. Heading to KL the next day at 1am.

More stories to tell but limited time. Off to meeting again.